Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Randomize
