do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My legs feel like baby dolphins
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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