i barfeds in our rink
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
