I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
