I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize