He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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