i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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