id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
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