3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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