hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
