This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
