I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
