He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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