i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
