BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
