Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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