I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Blood and glitter go together right?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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