Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
