let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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