I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
