k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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