If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
In other news, I just burned my penis
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
