Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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