don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
