i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
