and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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