I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
