It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
