my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
