I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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