I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
