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playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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