No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
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