oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
