Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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