Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Is it because I queefed?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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