dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Is it because I queefed?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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