I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
