Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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