Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
