i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
