Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
