you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
