he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
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