If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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