do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
