dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
