If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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