i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
