we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
