Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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