i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
