why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
