I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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