You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
