Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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