Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
